z35W7z4v9z8w Marine Gets BANNED From WalMart! He Should Receive a Medal Though! – Marine Patriot Blog

Marine Gets BANNED From WalMart! He Should Receive a Medal Though!

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Marine Gets BANNED From WalMart! He Should Receive a Medal Though!

Dear General Neller:

Over the past six months, Private Green has been causing quite a commotion in our Jacksonville store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and, as a result, will ban all Marines from shopping in any of our stores, if even one more incident occurs. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.

Three of our clerks are currently attending counseling from the trouble Private Green has caused. All complaints against Pvt. Green have been compiled and are listed below.

Mr. Wally Brown
Complaint Department

MEMO Re: Pvt. Green — Complaints —
Things Private Green has done while his wife was shopping:

1. November 17, 2015: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. November 27, 2015: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. December 15, 2015: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. December 21, 2015: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares!” and watched what happened.

5. January 12, 2016: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&Ms on lay-away.

6. January 26, 2016: Moved a ‘CAUTION -WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. February 13, 2016: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they’d bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. March 8, 2016: When a clerk asked if she could help him, he threw himself down on the floor, began to cry and wailed, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

9. March 19, 2016: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. April 4, 2016: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. April 20, 2016: Darted around the store, looking around suspiciously while loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.

12. April 28, 2016: In the auto department, practiced his “Madonna look” using different size funnels.

13. May 7, 2016: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled, “PICK ME! PICK ME!”

14. July 19, 2016: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed, “NO! NO! Sheila! It’s those voices again!!!!”

And last, but not least, just today….

15. September 28, 2016: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then yelled very loudly, “Hey, Somebody! I need some toilet paper in here!”

 

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Thoughts?

SemperFi

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SemperFi, SGT A

About the Author

Sgt A
Highly Motivated, Truly Dedicated, Rompin, Stompin, Patriotic United States Marine!

4 Comments on "Marine Gets BANNED From WalMart! He Should Receive a Medal Though!"

  1. Those are great!!!!!!

  2. So, now it’s not enough that the joke just said the woman’s husband. It has to specify the man as a Marine an spread lies that WalMart has banned a Marine. Shame on you! Our military is having enough battles to overcome without your help!

    • Charli,

      The real shame is that there are actually people like you, so uptight that you can’t recognize humor when you read it and ease up for just a minute in your miserable life to laugh…

      It’s people like you who have created and continue to build on the problems we face as a nation and society today.

      It’s people like you who are so uptight that you feel the need to lash out at everyone who says, writes, or does anything that does not conform to your uptight perspective…

      It sincerely saddens me when I get a message like this from someone like you… It doesn’t hurt my feeling or anger me, it pains my heart to know that so many have given so much so that you can live your comfortable life in peace, but rather than thank God for all you are blessed with daily, you have to take to the internet with your misery and share it with others.

      I’l be praying for you… I’ll be praying that you find some peace in your life and lighten up enough to perhaps laugh again one day…

      God Bless!

      SemperFi

  3. Fu*****g hilarious. god bless our military services.

    john

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